Surprise in a fortune cookie
Last night, after my Tango lesson, I stopped at a Chinese restaurant on the West Side. It was newly decorated with jade and
turquoise, pearls and figurines. I was pleased that there was a refurbished Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood. I
ordered my usual steamed shrimp and vegetables on brown rice, and, feeling the need for good luck, I ordered a bag of one
dozen fortune cookies. The waiter asked if they were just for me, and I said, "Yes". He said, "In that
case, I'll give you something special, a surprise". He temporarily emptied some cookies from the bag and placed a
different one inside, from a special container. I assumed I'd be treated to a free drink or discount, next time around.
I later ate half of the dinner and a few fortune cookies, no surprises, but saved the most optimistic fortunes, on tiny
white papers. This afternoon, I ate more cookies, saving optimistic, white paper fortunes, once again. Suddenly, something
sharp caught my tongue. An open staple in my mouth, with one-half of a paper fortune, promising the unexpected! I removed
what I thought was the ugly surprise from a NY cookie terrorist and saved the staple in a plastic snack bag, with the restaurant
business card and torn fortune. A few minutes later, testing my luck, I ate the last of the 13 cookies. This fortune was
written on yellow paper, and I was flabbergasted. It was a raunchy, unprintable note about a special dream. I added it
to the snack bag, after dashing downstairs to show my friend, the doorman.
Tonight, after the theater, I returned to the Chinese restaurant and told the waiter to call the owner, for whom I had
to wait 45 minutes, while I risked an in-house diet coke, thank heavens from a can. When the owner arrived, I showed him
the staple, the torn fortune, and the yellow, pornographic fortune. He yelled in Chinese at the waiter for giving me one
of the special fortunes intended for "Eat-In", not "Take-Out"! I asked about the staple. He said, "I
don't make the cookies. A store does". I asked what he's going to do, and he said he gives me "Sorry".
I asked what else, and he had the waiter write a note to "Ms. Dr. Zlokower" offering in the first person, signed
by name, to give me steamed shrimp and vegetables, next time I come in (I assume with no surprises). Then he asked for
the plastic snack bag, with all the evidence, and my business card, so he can read the 2 Websites (ExploreDance.com and
So, Mr. Owner, this is my special surprise! Enjoy the Websites!